V = Vulnerability. CAN I?
Being vulnerable takes courage, not being vulnerable holds us back. There are no half measures with vulnerability, it’s a whole-self experience of being in unfamiliar territory!
photo: Gilberto Olimpio
I love to use ACRONYMS when structuring the content of my belief strategy packages, workshops and books. Here's the letter V.
V = Vulnerability
Feeling Vulnerable is perceived as scary because we, as humans, like familiarity and routine – even boring familiarity is better than change to most of the population; the saying ‘better the devil you know’ sums this up perfectly. The downside of staying ‘safe’ (and not changing) slowly leads us to complacency and we lower our expectations accordingly.
If there's an area of your life you wish to change - a job, relationship, where you live, your hairstyle, anything, chances are in order for it to change, feeling vulnerable is a necessary part of the process.
The majority of fear around vulnerability stems from our pre-conceived ideas of what we think the new ‘thing’ or situation will be like. Our presumption is based on our beliefs and maybe some similar past experiences, none of which create a true picture of the unknown, simply because if a situation is new, it’s new!
We expend so much energy avoiding change and therefore avoiding vulnerability by trying to control everything; not trusting our own ability; listening to and believing all the thoughts as to why doing something we’ve never done before is a bad idea. Despite all this effort on our part to keep things the same, the irony is nothing stays the same and change is inevitable.
A simple way of making a significant change in your life is to begin by becoming familiar with change, starting with little things.
- take a different route to work
- clean your teeth with your opposite hand
- swap your knife and fork hands
- switch your phone off for 2 hours
All these are simple, everyday activities we carry out sub-consciously; by changing them slightly you make them conscious activities, meaning you have to think about them while you are doing them, you are no longer on auto pilot.
The more familiar your sub-conscious mind becomes with change (yes even small changes) the more comfortable change becomes, so when you are ready to make the big change it won't feel as daunting.
Finally, the one thing to always remember, however big the change, it will be done in small steps, it's rare to go from an old job to a new job without any planning, preparation and research - take it a step at a time and vulnerability will become less scary and more exciting!